I really enjoy giving oral sex, but my girlfriend hasn’t allowed me to do so during our two-year relationship. She simply says she doesn’t like it, without providing more details. When I asked if she’d had a bad experience, she denied it. It’s a bit frustrating because I haven’t had the opportunity to show her if she might enjoy it. How can I approach her in a way that encourages an open conversation about trying this?

It’s good that you’re respecting her boundaries and not being pushy. It’s important to honor your partner’s decisions about sexual activities. However, you can still have an honest discussion about your desires in a respectful way. Here’s a suggested approach.

Choose a time to talk outside of the bedroom, when neither of you is stressed or distracted. This should be a relaxed setting, perhaps while watching TV or just hanging out together.

Begin by expressing your feelings, emphasizing how much you care for her. Explain why oral sex is meaningful to you-not just as something for her pleasure, but also for your own enjoyment and to enhance your intimacy together.

Listen attentively to her response and validate her feelings. Avoid dismissiveness and ask open-ended questions. There might be underlying reasons for her reluctance, such as past experiences or concerns. While you can’t force her to share, you can foster an environment where she feels comfortable discussing her feelings.

Patience is essential. It may take multiple conversations for her to open up. Always respect her boundaries and let her know you’re willing to explore this together whenever she’s ready.

Meanwhile, consider other ways to connect intimately, such as through different sexual activities or using toys. There are many ways to enjoy each other beyond oral sex.

Ultimately, If she remains firm in her decision, it’s important to accept it and move forward.