I’m currently exploring a phase where I want more casual, friends-with-benefits (FWB) arrangements in my life. Although one-night stands might work, they seem like more effort. The main challenge I’m facing is that Gen Z appears to be less interested in casual sex.

At 21, most people I find attractive within my age group identify as demisexual or prefer romantic relationships rather than purely sexual ones. While I’m open to dating older individuals, I’m cautious about those in their 30s seeking younger partners on dating apps.

Do you have any tips on how to navigate this situation?

First, It’s important to be cautious about older individuals pursuing younger people, especially older men. While anecdotal, I haven’t observed many healthy, balanced relationships between someone in their 30s and a person in their early 20s. This isn’t to say age-gap relationships can’t work, but at 21, your brain is still developing, and there’s often a power imbalance. The younger partner may not have the experience to establish boundaries as effectively as someone in their 30s.

Therefore, seeking someone closer to your age within Gen Z is ideal. While statistics and articles suggest Gen Z is having less sex than previous generations, “less” does not mean “none,” as you demonstrate.

I’m curious about your experiences with apps, particularly those designed for casual encounters rather than long-term relationships. Have you tried setting your age range to match your own and indicating in your profile that you’re seeking a casual FWB arrangement? This approach can help filter out individuals not interested in casual sex. While it might attract overly forward people, you can choose to engage only with those who respect your preferences and aren’t looking to turn it into a serious relationship.

Meeting people in real life is another option, albeit more challenging. You might have a sociable friend who excels at breaking the ice. If so, consider going to a party or bar known for attracting people your age with them. Let your friend know beforehand that your goal for the night is to find a casual connection.

Sex parties are another possibility, but recommending them to a 21-year-old can be tricky. Some 21-year-olds feel comfortable and safe in these environments, and I attended my first sex party at 24. However, it might be best to start by adjusting your approach on hookup apps. If that doesn’t work, try socializing at a bar with your outgoing friend. If both options fail, consider whether a sex party is right for you.